141 days

Okay, I am finally back from a hiatus, because of my annual week from hell in which every aspect of your life goes terribly wrong.

In my case it was..

My immune system

My Car

My Dog

My job

My husband's job

& my body again...

I passed out AGAIN at the gym on Thursday. I felt it coming on, and began cursing like a sailor, because it's no fun when your world starts going black and you can't focus on anything. I hate it. It's the worst feeling in the world to me.

Thankfully, ten seconds after ingesting some juice I was perfectly fine, but developed a bad sneeze for the weekend after a stress response from my body.

I'm perfectly fine today, and I'll be starting back at the gym tomorrow.

After two weeks of eating whatever I wanted, it's back to eating low calories, and I added eating some fruits into my routine. Thankfully, as it gets colder, this means more soups, which is to me the simplest way to cut major dinner calories.

Here's some recipes that sound mighty yummy.

HAM AND WILD RICE SOUP

BROCCOLI AND CHEESE SOUP--- TOPPED WITH POP CORN

CANADIAN BACON AND LENTIL SOUP

BREAKFAST:

Special K Chocolate delight (120)

Milk

LUNCH:

Bread (110)

Lunch Meat (50)

Provolone Cheese (70)

Sun Chips (140)

Granola Bar (110)

DINNER:

Lentil Soup (126)

Crackers (156)

SNACK:

String Cheese (50)

Grapes (62)

On a sad side note... the whole reason I became motivated to do this weight loss blog was for the rockabilly convention in Las Vegas, which unfortunately now after nearly $900 in expenses this past week will probably damper our plans for Viva Las Vegas. I am still crossing my fingers, though. You really never know.

If we don't do Vegas, my husband and I were still talking about another trip to New Mexico and out west later in the summertime. I have been wanting to visit some of the Indian Pueblos again.

Life is not terrible. I just hate it when I get that ONE week that just destroys everything.

Oh well... Life is what you make of it.

152 days

DISREGARD THIS WEEK, IT IS FULL OF FAIL AND BLADDER INFECTIONS!

155 days

"I've been a bad-bad girl"

My weekend was filled with WAY too much Italian food, and mixed drinks. I fear my weigh in may turn into a disaster. I'm still ready to get back to the gym even though my ass is begging me to go into hibernation mode. I call this "Too much fat on the brain", which prevents me from thinking clearly and making right decisions.

Friday: Pizza, movie theater candy

Saturday: Cheeseburger, fries, Boneless wings, pizza, & a couple of diet coke and rums.

Sunday: Cheeseburger, pizza, garlic bread, split lasagna and eggplant Parmesan, canolli, alcoholic beverages, and some White Castle to top off the night.

Did I feel like shit today? Hell, yeah, I did.

I'm not even counting, because I know it's that BAD.

So, I'm off to the gym tonight for 15 minutes of cardio, then PT tomorrow.

BREAKFAST:

Twix bar (210) <--- I know!! WTF is wrong with me!?

LUNCH:

peppered turkey (50)

reduced fat cheese (50)

2 slice wonderbread (140)

Sun chips (140)

Fiber Granola bar (120)

Coke zero(0)

DINNER:

Probably a frozen dinner (400)

*super sigh*

I seriously want to go crawl under a bed for a while. I mentally and physically feel like garbage. :(

158 days

Uhhhgh.... Major boring at work today. Everyone left after they paid $10 to do so. Uh... not me. I'm happy to save some money... not that I'd be doing anything interesting if I HAD the day off.

I can't tell you how excited I am that the weekend is here!!

Tonight is even better, because Paul is scheduled for a half day, so he'll be home around 8-ish. :) It'll be nice to see him for once.

This weekend I will be at Por Vida, which is Columbus' way of celebrating Dia De Los Muertos. I have my costume ready, my makeup tutorial, but I am SO stuck on the hair. I guess we'll see what happens last minute. You better believe I'm taking pictures. :D

Sunday we're meeting friends to go to Shadow Box to see a live performance of Rocky Horror Picture show! Exciting! It's a busy and fun filled weekend! I just LOVE Halloween!

Personal training went well. I didn't want to die, or throw up, so that is always a plus. I think the workouts aren't feeling as intense as the first time. Hell, I think they're working. I feel like I'm losing something.... could be my imagination.

I ate the most boring, and bland chicken sandwich EVER at Wendy's today. It was so awful I couldn't finish it, or my fries.... that's bad.

BREAKFAST:

Mcmuffin (300)

Hashbrown (150)

LUNCH:

Grilled Chicken sandwich plain(370)

Fries (220)

DINNER:

............. it's up in the air, but I'm thinking pizza.

HOLY HELL, I just found out that extra cheese on donatos pizza is like 100+ extra calories. DAY-UM!

Veggie, hawaiian, or margeharita is the way to go!

159 days

Oh my God, is the week almost over?

I am looking so forward to this weekend, because this week has been very "blah." I commend myself for not being too over emotional on the situations laid out in front of me, but it has none the less, taken a small toll on me.

I haven't been really strict on myself this week, which was a downfall. I wasn't God awful in my dietary choices as in going out and eating a 3 gal tub of ice-cream, or anything, but I could have chosen better.

There's this little Satan dude sitting on my shoulder as I say, "Yes, please add cheese, and mayo..." on nearly every sandwich I devour. If only I could shrug that off and remember that I am an atheist, and that I don't believe in that nonsense.

Speaking of atheistic values. Since I've began in thinking that this "world" is all we have, then it puts a new perspective on how you think about living life.

Yes, we know all religious believers spout about how they will be ready for whenever they depart this world for an eternal existence in the clouds, or whatever, but as an atheist, I am not content with watching these people stuff their faces and being morbidly obese and using the excuse "God will take me when it's my time." As if it were an excuse to shove sweets, sugars and starches into their stomach at an attempt to be closer to eternal enlightenment.

I should know. My Grandfather was this way, and on his death bed told one of his sisters, "I'm 72 years old, and I'm dying." In my opinion, I see this as regret, but that that is wholly what I think. I don't know if we'll ever know what he truly thought. It's just sad.

I'm using my knowledge to begin eating better in an attempt to take all I can from this one life that we live.

Anyways, that was my rant for the day. It makes me rethink how I am living my life when you look at just having "one life" and not just this "pu-dung life, but eternity will be better."

BREAKFAST:

cereal (100)

LUNCH:

BLT Pizza two slices (400) <-- guess based on internet results

Diet Coke (0)

2 cheese cubes (200)

DINNER:

Cream of chicken soup (60)

Brown Rice (150)

Canned chicken (70)

So..... maybe I was being hard on myself..... Oh wait, I forgot I had a slice of that DAMN butterscotch cake!!

Cake (150)

It's always the stuff you forget... dammit.

I have personal training tonight... hopefully I don't throw up.

160 days

Well I've went and done it. I've lost 3 whole lbs. I celebrated by having a cheeseburger for lunch. GODDAMN ME!

Big whoop, I know. It'll be nice when I can say I've lost 20, or 30 pounds.

I've had a crappy past two days work wise, which is promoting a lot of stress in my world. I wish I had someone to talk to about it, but I think everyone else thinks I'm acting paranoid, and that I need to chill out.

I REALLY need to fucking chill out I think in the end. If it happens, then it happens. If not, then I can look forward to enjoying fewer hours in the summer, and more time with my husband.

__________________________

Personal training it going well, but it kills me. Last night driving home I almost threw up after drinking some water. I don't know if it was because of the water, or from it being cold out and messing with my throat, but I seriously had to put my hoodie sleeve up to my face and breathe deep.... and also drive a country road at 9p.m.

___________________________

I MADE PUMPKIN COOKIES! They made the house smell so yummy, and then I had to leave for PT.... ;____;

BREAKFAST:

banana nut cheerios (100)

LUNCH:

1/4 single cheeseburger (620)

fries (230)

DINNER:

Soup (100) <--- *tear* Sad dinner. :(

I'm still mostly under my mark for my calorie intake, but I wish that I would lose more for the extra effort. :\

I have ceramics class tonight. It's the last one... thank-god. Ceramics people rub me the wrong way. I've never seen so many hostile, and smuggish people in my life. Asking them for a glaze recipe, or technique is like asking them to commit suicide. They all must be anti social like me.... except perhaps, not as good of a sense of humor like myself, and they tend to get offended easily. It's amazing how bad I wish I could just tell them to lighten up.

Anyways...... bleh.

161 days

Not much to say on this end. I have PT tonight.

The hubby was nice and made a pot roast last night.... of course I was a glutton.

BREAKFAST:

Mcmuffin (300)

Hashbrown (75)

LUNCH:

6" Subway Club w/provolone (350)

1/2 sunchips (105)

DINNER:

6" Subway Club w/ provolone (350)

1/2 sunchips (105)

I know, I'm so boring. There's leftover pot roast at home, which would be exceptional with some fried eggs, but Subway tempted me at lunch with their $5 any footlong all October deal. So... EVIL!

A Very strong yes for purchasing a kiln for the Houston House by the board members. I am excited. If they don't purchase it, then I totally will, so either way it's a win-win. I have such wonderful ideas brewing in my head, and my time at Mayco helped me IMMENSELY.

I can't wait to get back into the studio.

My work situation has me a bit frustrated, but I'm afraid to go in to it in details. All I can say is that my hours won't be changing to full-time any time soon like I has hoped.