162 days

I'm a pig on the weekend. I have the same mindset as someone starving after being stuck on an island for two years.

I made the turkey soft tacos on Friday, but the green bell pepper totally turned off the whole meal for me, and it made my stomach so upset that I ate four bites, then ate nothing else for the rest of the night. It wasn't bad turkey, or anything. There are certain foods that once I eat them, it just kills my entire appetite.

So... green bell pepper, seriously, I tried, but our food relationship is just not working out. At least it was free from work, so I can't complain like I wasted money.

I'm thinking something simple for dinner tonight. I just don't feel like cooking and prepping for an hour today. Besides it's another rainy, and gray day here. Now, baking pumpkin cookies is a strong maybe for tonight.

I never did get around to my jalapeno poppers, but I have all the stuff at home. It was another case of the "Great Pepper turnoff" from Friday. The thought of anything green, crunchy and bland made my stomach ill.

I found out that Chinese food is God AWFUL to eat...

I calculated my whole weekend up minus the chinese food.

Wendy's--

550

420

Todd's Pizza--

325

Max & Erma's

370 <--- ONE freakin cookie right there.

370

Taco Bell--

300

SUNDAY:

Chinese Buffet--- ( probably 1,000 calories)

Frisch's--

360

300

650

Adding up drinks, soda, and anything else I may have missed. It brings the weekend total to 4,500-5,000 calorie weekend. EEEK!

____________________________________________________

Breakfast:

Banana nut Cheerios (100)

Milk (30)

LUNCH:

Peppered turkey: 100

Colby Jack cheese (90)

2 slice whole wheat bread (120)

Baked chips (120)

Chocolate chip crisps (100) <--- Totally regretting, because I have massive heart burn now.

DINNER:

Cream of chicken soup (60)

Brown Rice (150)

Canned chicken (70)

167 days

Bah humbug.

Another gray day on planet earth, destination Marysville, Ohio.

What makes it worse is that our main program is down at work, causing a lot of us to twiddle our thumbs and be bored. I've spent a while scanning through pottery, and ceramics blogs, which isn't going to do me any good seeing that the kiln I work out of is down, and dead... well, it's not dead, but it doesn't want to shut off, and I can't take chances of burning the Houston House down. NEITHER can I sit around for eight hours with a kiln thermometer to determine when my pieces will be done.

Yeah, there's a lot eating at me today.

I had my official meeting with my personal trainer last night.

I'm not agreeing with him to much on my approach to eating. I believe in adjustments to your lifestyle, but swapping out normal foods with healthier alternatives, but my trainer is all gung-ho on a strict diet, and low calorie intake.

I don't believe strictness helps. I believe in life style changes. I think this may be where we clash in the end. I think he totally disregards the whole "weight watchers" thing, so I may be forced to drop that and calorie count.

Oh, joy. He just better not expect me to start weighing out my dinner during prep.

So in my attempt to start my calorie decrease in intake diet I had some boring rice square cereal that my husband had sitting in the cupboard, because 1 cup = 100 calories compared to my Golden Grahams where 3/4 a cup = 130 calories.

The man said he does "total body" workouts, which made me think of Gilad. I tried not to laugh.

Why is it that personal trainers have NO sense of humor? If they attempt to joke it's like the most driest piece of shit humor that even I won't laugh at, and THAT's bad.

He told me to talk to the onsite dietitian, but I already know what they're going to tell me. Easy on the dairy, sugars, fats, and sodiums, and "Do you like beans? They make great meat alternatives." If they're really old school they'll show me a food pyramid, and suggest I eat lots of fibers, whole grains, and vegetables. I seriously should have my degree in nutrition.

A fat nutritionist! LOLOLOOLLLOOLOOOLOL

BREAKFAST:

Cup of rice square cereal- (100)

Milk (30)

LUNCH:

Peppered turkey (100)

Colby jack cheese (90)

2 slices wheat bread (73 + 73)

Baked chips (120)

3 oreos (160)

Dinner is up in the air. I have ceramics class tonight, so it'll probably be a wendy's healthy alternative.

I calculated up my calorie intake.

If I am active for 3 days a week: 2400 a day

If I am inactive during the week: 2150 a day

My stomach is growling furiously. I am so embarrassed!!! ;_________;

197 days

Gah!! Are we already down to under 200 days!! Insanity!

Okay, so we're going to call this "crunch time".

I came out to my husband this weekend and told him that I was doing this "diet blog" thing to help me out along the way, and when I told him the whopping 70lbs I wanted to lose in 7 months... he kind of made a face, and suggested I gear more towards 30lbs, but honestly... I'll take what I get. I'm not going to be picky, just as long as numbers head south, and not northward.

Again, my hubby has unintentionally been losing weight without any diet other than having to shovel cereal down his throat for dinner. He's been able to fit into some old shirts that have been tight on him since I started dating him. It's crazy! I don't mean to be mean either, but I don't hardly notice a physical difference yet, but I'm glad it makes him happy, and I'm glad he can wear his shirts that have been neglected in the back part of the closet. I am proud of him.

I really should start weighing myself... I've been neglecting that.

BREAKFAST:

Cinnamon toast crunch (8)

LUNCH:

Wendy's crispy chicken sandwich plain (8) 350

Small Chili (4.5) 220

Tonight for dinner.... I have no idea. I thought I had the evening off, but FML, I totally don't now, because of a forgotten engagement. So... screw ever having a life until after November.

I'm probably going to be doing my Parmesan crusted pork chops tonight w/ whole grain spaghetti, and pasta sauce. I still have some left over 80 calorie buns, which might benefit as a nifty sandwich..... just sayin.

200 day--- part two

My initial entry was made to describe why I started all of this, so this is the daily, gritty entries I'm growing so used to.

Dinner went well, then... later went... not so well.

DINNER: (Previous night)

1/2 chopped Italian Chicken breast (2.5)

2 cups of cooked pasta (5)

Pasta sauce (0)

Flavored water (0)

THEN, damn my stomach, I went to White Castle after practice, because I was craving chocolate chip cookies. Mind you, I am also suffering the Pee Ehmmm Ehsss.

So, I ordered...

2 Chicken ring sandwiches w/ cheese (20)

Small fries (3)

2 Chocolate Chunk cookies (10)

Breakfast:

BK bacon egg & cheese croissantwich (didn't finish) (6)

Small hashbrown (didn't finish) (3)

Snack:

3 Oreos (3) <--- that surprised me.

Then for lunch today:

wendy's Classic single (9)

small fries (7)

Coke (dumb girl gave me the wrong thing.. I ordered diet :-(( (2)

Le-sigh... Why must I be an epic failure?

Writing about my goal has got me back in the mood to put everything behind me, and move forward.

I still have some wiggle room for dinner... provided that I don't fuck it up.

Well, I'm off to the internet land of weight watcher recipes!

200 Days ---Why did I start this?

As I fight temptations and often lose most of the time, I've learned from other people's diet blogs that... it's okay, but don't give up. This is something I would hear from my personal trainer. Anything helps. You may not meet your goal as quick, but you'll get there.

Okay, so I have a ticker/countdown on one of my previous entries for and event that my husband and I are going to go to for our three year wedding anniversary.

For the years my hubby and I have been together we have often tried to find a niche of people to fit in with. We tried the Yuppie crowd, which were too stuck up and shallow, then we tried the Goth Industrial crowd, but they turned a bit too creepy, tried the punk scene, but they were too fake, and often... boring, so finally we tried the Rockabilly crowd, and we fit in... just right. I go to Rockabilly concerts and everyone is always nice and cordial, and everyone gets a long. No drama, no bar fights, no retard nonsense. People are there to enjoy music, dance, and dress up fancy for a nice night out.

My husband and I are no strangers to history, and we both have a soft spot for it. Paul likes military history, and I like fashion history, so we work well together, which is what the Rockabilly scene also incorporates.

A fact many people may not know about me is that I developed a MAJOR crush on my hubby after he acted like a gentleman on his birthday, dressed nice, had good manners, and for the fact I saw he had a Betty Page calendar hanging on his bedroom wall instead of a Playboy Bunny girl. We both had crushes on pinup girls.

Sometimes at concerts we'll see kids dancing like how your Grandma, and Grandpa used to dress, and you'll also see their classic cars parked out front, freshly restored with a lot of time, elbow grease, and passed down knowledge.

One thing that gets me down is the fact that I can't dress up all the time like a rockabilly girl in their circle skirts, swing dresses, and halter tops, because I'm fat, and I don't want to be the stick out in the room... for a bad reason.

Anyways, we're going to Viva Las Vegas , the biggest Rockabilly convention in... well the world. We'll be meeting up with some friends who recently moved out west to hang out, and just have an awesome time conversing with people who appreciate the same things we do.

My goal is to lose weight, so I can wear some of these pretty dresses these gals squeeze into, and not feel completely uncomfortable.

My goal is to get down to the size I was when I started dating Paul, which is around 230 pounds. I am currently tipping the scale at 300.

So, I have around 7 months to lose 70 pounds, and I wonder if I can accomplish it.

I need to be more determined, because it's something I lack besides a lot of will power. I didn't start this blog for no reason, though.

This is my attempt to better myself for my husband, my family, and me.