141 days

Okay, I am finally back from a hiatus, because of my annual week from hell in which every aspect of your life goes terribly wrong.

In my case it was..

My immune system

My Car

My Dog

My job

My husband's job

& my body again...

I passed out AGAIN at the gym on Thursday. I felt it coming on, and began cursing like a sailor, because it's no fun when your world starts going black and you can't focus on anything. I hate it. It's the worst feeling in the world to me.

Thankfully, ten seconds after ingesting some juice I was perfectly fine, but developed a bad sneeze for the weekend after a stress response from my body.

I'm perfectly fine today, and I'll be starting back at the gym tomorrow.

After two weeks of eating whatever I wanted, it's back to eating low calories, and I added eating some fruits into my routine. Thankfully, as it gets colder, this means more soups, which is to me the simplest way to cut major dinner calories.

Here's some recipes that sound mighty yummy.

HAM AND WILD RICE SOUP

BROCCOLI AND CHEESE SOUP--- TOPPED WITH POP CORN

CANADIAN BACON AND LENTIL SOUP

BREAKFAST:

Special K Chocolate delight (120)

Milk

LUNCH:

Bread (110)

Lunch Meat (50)

Provolone Cheese (70)

Sun Chips (140)

Granola Bar (110)

DINNER:

Lentil Soup (126)

Crackers (156)

SNACK:

String Cheese (50)

Grapes (62)

On a sad side note... the whole reason I became motivated to do this weight loss blog was for the rockabilly convention in Las Vegas, which unfortunately now after nearly $900 in expenses this past week will probably damper our plans for Viva Las Vegas. I am still crossing my fingers, though. You really never know.

If we don't do Vegas, my husband and I were still talking about another trip to New Mexico and out west later in the summertime. I have been wanting to visit some of the Indian Pueblos again.

Life is not terrible. I just hate it when I get that ONE week that just destroys everything.

Oh well... Life is what you make of it.

152 days

DISREGARD THIS WEEK, IT IS FULL OF FAIL AND BLADDER INFECTIONS!

155 days

"I've been a bad-bad girl"

My weekend was filled with WAY too much Italian food, and mixed drinks. I fear my weigh in may turn into a disaster. I'm still ready to get back to the gym even though my ass is begging me to go into hibernation mode. I call this "Too much fat on the brain", which prevents me from thinking clearly and making right decisions.

Friday: Pizza, movie theater candy

Saturday: Cheeseburger, fries, Boneless wings, pizza, & a couple of diet coke and rums.

Sunday: Cheeseburger, pizza, garlic bread, split lasagna and eggplant Parmesan, canolli, alcoholic beverages, and some White Castle to top off the night.

Did I feel like shit today? Hell, yeah, I did.

I'm not even counting, because I know it's that BAD.

So, I'm off to the gym tonight for 15 minutes of cardio, then PT tomorrow.

BREAKFAST:

Twix bar (210) <--- I know!! WTF is wrong with me!?

LUNCH:

peppered turkey (50)

reduced fat cheese (50)

2 slice wonderbread (140)

Sun chips (140)

Fiber Granola bar (120)

Coke zero(0)

DINNER:

Probably a frozen dinner (400)

*super sigh*

I seriously want to go crawl under a bed for a while. I mentally and physically feel like garbage. :(

158 days

Uhhhgh.... Major boring at work today. Everyone left after they paid $10 to do so. Uh... not me. I'm happy to save some money... not that I'd be doing anything interesting if I HAD the day off.

I can't tell you how excited I am that the weekend is here!!

Tonight is even better, because Paul is scheduled for a half day, so he'll be home around 8-ish. :) It'll be nice to see him for once.

This weekend I will be at Por Vida, which is Columbus' way of celebrating Dia De Los Muertos. I have my costume ready, my makeup tutorial, but I am SO stuck on the hair. I guess we'll see what happens last minute. You better believe I'm taking pictures. :D

Sunday we're meeting friends to go to Shadow Box to see a live performance of Rocky Horror Picture show! Exciting! It's a busy and fun filled weekend! I just LOVE Halloween!

Personal training went well. I didn't want to die, or throw up, so that is always a plus. I think the workouts aren't feeling as intense as the first time. Hell, I think they're working. I feel like I'm losing something.... could be my imagination.

I ate the most boring, and bland chicken sandwich EVER at Wendy's today. It was so awful I couldn't finish it, or my fries.... that's bad.

BREAKFAST:

Mcmuffin (300)

Hashbrown (150)

LUNCH:

Grilled Chicken sandwich plain(370)

Fries (220)

DINNER:

............. it's up in the air, but I'm thinking pizza.

HOLY HELL, I just found out that extra cheese on donatos pizza is like 100+ extra calories. DAY-UM!

Veggie, hawaiian, or margeharita is the way to go!

159 days

Oh my God, is the week almost over?

I am looking so forward to this weekend, because this week has been very "blah." I commend myself for not being too over emotional on the situations laid out in front of me, but it has none the less, taken a small toll on me.

I haven't been really strict on myself this week, which was a downfall. I wasn't God awful in my dietary choices as in going out and eating a 3 gal tub of ice-cream, or anything, but I could have chosen better.

There's this little Satan dude sitting on my shoulder as I say, "Yes, please add cheese, and mayo..." on nearly every sandwich I devour. If only I could shrug that off and remember that I am an atheist, and that I don't believe in that nonsense.

Speaking of atheistic values. Since I've began in thinking that this "world" is all we have, then it puts a new perspective on how you think about living life.

Yes, we know all religious believers spout about how they will be ready for whenever they depart this world for an eternal existence in the clouds, or whatever, but as an atheist, I am not content with watching these people stuff their faces and being morbidly obese and using the excuse "God will take me when it's my time." As if it were an excuse to shove sweets, sugars and starches into their stomach at an attempt to be closer to eternal enlightenment.

I should know. My Grandfather was this way, and on his death bed told one of his sisters, "I'm 72 years old, and I'm dying." In my opinion, I see this as regret, but that that is wholly what I think. I don't know if we'll ever know what he truly thought. It's just sad.

I'm using my knowledge to begin eating better in an attempt to take all I can from this one life that we live.

Anyways, that was my rant for the day. It makes me rethink how I am living my life when you look at just having "one life" and not just this "pu-dung life, but eternity will be better."

BREAKFAST:

cereal (100)

LUNCH:

BLT Pizza two slices (400) <-- guess based on internet results

Diet Coke (0)

2 cheese cubes (200)

DINNER:

Cream of chicken soup (60)

Brown Rice (150)

Canned chicken (70)

So..... maybe I was being hard on myself..... Oh wait, I forgot I had a slice of that DAMN butterscotch cake!!

Cake (150)

It's always the stuff you forget... dammit.

I have personal training tonight... hopefully I don't throw up.

160 days

Well I've went and done it. I've lost 3 whole lbs. I celebrated by having a cheeseburger for lunch. GODDAMN ME!

Big whoop, I know. It'll be nice when I can say I've lost 20, or 30 pounds.

I've had a crappy past two days work wise, which is promoting a lot of stress in my world. I wish I had someone to talk to about it, but I think everyone else thinks I'm acting paranoid, and that I need to chill out.

I REALLY need to fucking chill out I think in the end. If it happens, then it happens. If not, then I can look forward to enjoying fewer hours in the summer, and more time with my husband.

__________________________

Personal training it going well, but it kills me. Last night driving home I almost threw up after drinking some water. I don't know if it was because of the water, or from it being cold out and messing with my throat, but I seriously had to put my hoodie sleeve up to my face and breathe deep.... and also drive a country road at 9p.m.

___________________________

I MADE PUMPKIN COOKIES! They made the house smell so yummy, and then I had to leave for PT.... ;____;

BREAKFAST:

banana nut cheerios (100)

LUNCH:

1/4 single cheeseburger (620)

fries (230)

DINNER:

Soup (100) <--- *tear* Sad dinner. :(

I'm still mostly under my mark for my calorie intake, but I wish that I would lose more for the extra effort. :\

I have ceramics class tonight. It's the last one... thank-god. Ceramics people rub me the wrong way. I've never seen so many hostile, and smuggish people in my life. Asking them for a glaze recipe, or technique is like asking them to commit suicide. They all must be anti social like me.... except perhaps, not as good of a sense of humor like myself, and they tend to get offended easily. It's amazing how bad I wish I could just tell them to lighten up.

Anyways...... bleh.

161 days

Not much to say on this end. I have PT tonight.

The hubby was nice and made a pot roast last night.... of course I was a glutton.

BREAKFAST:

Mcmuffin (300)

Hashbrown (75)

LUNCH:

6" Subway Club w/provolone (350)

1/2 sunchips (105)

DINNER:

6" Subway Club w/ provolone (350)

1/2 sunchips (105)

I know, I'm so boring. There's leftover pot roast at home, which would be exceptional with some fried eggs, but Subway tempted me at lunch with their $5 any footlong all October deal. So... EVIL!

A Very strong yes for purchasing a kiln for the Houston House by the board members. I am excited. If they don't purchase it, then I totally will, so either way it's a win-win. I have such wonderful ideas brewing in my head, and my time at Mayco helped me IMMENSELY.

I can't wait to get back into the studio.

My work situation has me a bit frustrated, but I'm afraid to go in to it in details. All I can say is that my hours won't be changing to full-time any time soon like I has hoped.

162 days

I'm a pig on the weekend. I have the same mindset as someone starving after being stuck on an island for two years.

I made the turkey soft tacos on Friday, but the green bell pepper totally turned off the whole meal for me, and it made my stomach so upset that I ate four bites, then ate nothing else for the rest of the night. It wasn't bad turkey, or anything. There are certain foods that once I eat them, it just kills my entire appetite.

So... green bell pepper, seriously, I tried, but our food relationship is just not working out. At least it was free from work, so I can't complain like I wasted money.

I'm thinking something simple for dinner tonight. I just don't feel like cooking and prepping for an hour today. Besides it's another rainy, and gray day here. Now, baking pumpkin cookies is a strong maybe for tonight.

I never did get around to my jalapeno poppers, but I have all the stuff at home. It was another case of the "Great Pepper turnoff" from Friday. The thought of anything green, crunchy and bland made my stomach ill.

I found out that Chinese food is God AWFUL to eat...

I calculated my whole weekend up minus the chinese food.

Wendy's--

550

420

Todd's Pizza--

325

Max & Erma's

370 <--- ONE freakin cookie right there.

370

Taco Bell--

300

SUNDAY:

Chinese Buffet--- ( probably 1,000 calories)

Frisch's--

360

300

650

Adding up drinks, soda, and anything else I may have missed. It brings the weekend total to 4,500-5,000 calorie weekend. EEEK!

____________________________________________________

Breakfast:

Banana nut Cheerios (100)

Milk (30)

LUNCH:

Peppered turkey: 100

Colby Jack cheese (90)

2 slice whole wheat bread (120)

Baked chips (120)

Chocolate chip crisps (100) <--- Totally regretting, because I have massive heart burn now.

DINNER:

Cream of chicken soup (60)

Brown Rice (150)

Canned chicken (70)

165 days

It's official, my butt is sore.

I'm totally liking the whole working out at 8 p.m. thing for the fact that NOBODY is at the gym at that time. My trainer I think is over ambitious, and I'm totally not understanding where he's coming from on his eating habits, but I suppose I'll learn. Like I had no idea I was suppose to eat a small protein thing about doing muscle training, so he suggested just a small thing of chocolate milk would be perfect.

I'm hoping this doesn't turn me into some beastly muscle woman.

The dude has me muscle training, which it's nice, because they're ALL over workouts and not just to one area, but then on top of that, he wants me to do cardio 3 times a week for 15 minutes.... I don't really know about that. I could do ten minutes for the days I come in on, but adding an extra day might be pushing it. :\ We'll see, though.

I discovered when I do weight training for my biceps, and triceps (curls), it totally makes my stomach upset. Thank-God, we did those exercises last.

I've also taken a liking to this whole "cooking" thing. Well, as long as it's things I can make and prepare in a timely manner.

http://www.eatbetteramerica.com/ Has been my bible of recipes to try. They carry everything from dinners, appetizers, drinks, and desserts. I often come close to catching myself salivating at work, while looking at recipes for pumpkin cookies with a du leche topping. *dies*

I'm still a foodie somewhat, but I'm taking a step towards good instead of processed crap all of the time. One can only take eating meals of 50% meat, 40% cheese, and possibly some grains mixed in there before feeling like crap, and looking like crap.

Just by changing the way I am eating, and thinking about eating has made me feel better towards the end of this week, and I anticipate getting up in the morning. Weight loss makes you want to get up in the morning and run to the mirror to see what has changed.

I remember at my skinniest back when I was around 16, I did the atkins diet, and I remember me ALMOST getting rid of my belly fat completely, and I could see my belly button. JEEEEZUZ CHRIST, I haven't seen my belly button for almost ten years! YIKES!

Things I'm learning:

• Get rid of the sweets. They're the ones throwing me off track, and it's so easy for me to grab a hand full of oreos while I'm cooking dinner, which in the end doesn't benefit me.
• 
  
• Soups are awesome for late night cravings. Healthy Choice makes a quick microwave soup that is around 100 calories, and it helps curb any anxiety over stomach pangs. It beats ordering a bunch of white castle burgers, and feeling like shit the next morning. Talk about food hangover.
• 
  
• Try new things. Sure I hate bell peppers and mushrooms when I was kid, but now I'm finding they had a nice spice a texture to meals that would otherwise have been sloppy and boring. Plus the husband is gaining a fondness for heat to his meals, so I'm taking full advantage of this opportunity.
• 
  
• Don't give up on oldies. There's nearly a "healthfied" recipe for all those comfort foods you can't give up on. Eat better america is great for finding new ways, and healthier alternatives, so you don't have to give up everything.
• Finally, the hard work will be worth it in the end. All I can keep saying in my mind is "Rockabilly sun dresses, rockabilly sun dress, rockabilly sun dresses!!"

This dress is even called "Tiffany" it has my name ALL over it. ;-)

Some egg recipes... I found EGGS-elent!

AWESOME healthy egg salad recipe!

Deviled eggs with ham

Pumpkin cookies

Yuuuuuuuuuum! I'm so hungry now, dangit!!

BREAKFAST:

EggMcmuffin (300)

1/2 hashbrown (75)

LUNCH:

Wendy's small chili and crispy chicken sandwich plain (550)

DINNER:

Turkey Tacos (400)

1/2 cup Brown Rice (150)

I might make up a dessert tonight, but it's still up in the air.

I was going to make jalapeno poppers, but I added up the calories and they're like 87 calories a piece...(thanks turkey bacon..sheesh) maybe for a snack on Saturday. Maybe I'll prep them tonight and get them ready to bake up.

Remember... eat safe.

166 days

Yes, I am a broken record, and yes, it is gray outside again.

I miss my husband. I feel like I hardly ever get to see him, or talk to him anymore.

Ceramics class went well. Nobody was killed, and I made some awesome pieces. I'm regretting not taking pictures now.

I officially start my workout routine tonight. Hopefully I can keep up, and I hope this guy knows that I'm fat, and can't do some of the more strenuous things normal people can. I have a feeling I'm going to be incredibly sore with this guy compared to my previous trainer.

BREAKFAST:

Egg mcmuffin: 300

diet soda: 0

LUNCH:

Peppered turkey: 100

Colby Jack cheese (90)

2 slice whole wheat bread (120)

Baked chips (120)

Granola bar (100)

Dinner:

Ravioli with tomato and Alfredo sauce: (320)

I was under expected calories yesterday. I think I only topped out at around 1,600 calories. I think that's damn good, but man was my stomach hurting at lunchtime yesterday. My stomach was even vocally protesting, but today has been going better.

We'll see how the weekend goes. I think I'm going start ordering my rums with diet coke, or coke zero from now on... as long as Paul drives. lol

167 days

Bah humbug.

Another gray day on planet earth, destination Marysville, Ohio.

What makes it worse is that our main program is down at work, causing a lot of us to twiddle our thumbs and be bored. I've spent a while scanning through pottery, and ceramics blogs, which isn't going to do me any good seeing that the kiln I work out of is down, and dead... well, it's not dead, but it doesn't want to shut off, and I can't take chances of burning the Houston House down. NEITHER can I sit around for eight hours with a kiln thermometer to determine when my pieces will be done.

Yeah, there's a lot eating at me today.

I had my official meeting with my personal trainer last night.

I'm not agreeing with him to much on my approach to eating. I believe in adjustments to your lifestyle, but swapping out normal foods with healthier alternatives, but my trainer is all gung-ho on a strict diet, and low calorie intake.

I don't believe strictness helps. I believe in life style changes. I think this may be where we clash in the end. I think he totally disregards the whole "weight watchers" thing, so I may be forced to drop that and calorie count.

Oh, joy. He just better not expect me to start weighing out my dinner during prep.

So in my attempt to start my calorie decrease in intake diet I had some boring rice square cereal that my husband had sitting in the cupboard, because 1 cup = 100 calories compared to my Golden Grahams where 3/4 a cup = 130 calories.

The man said he does "total body" workouts, which made me think of Gilad. I tried not to laugh.

Why is it that personal trainers have NO sense of humor? If they attempt to joke it's like the most driest piece of shit humor that even I won't laugh at, and THAT's bad.

He told me to talk to the onsite dietitian, but I already know what they're going to tell me. Easy on the dairy, sugars, fats, and sodiums, and "Do you like beans? They make great meat alternatives." If they're really old school they'll show me a food pyramid, and suggest I eat lots of fibers, whole grains, and vegetables. I seriously should have my degree in nutrition.

A fat nutritionist! LOLOLOOLLLOOLOOOLOL

BREAKFAST:

Cup of rice square cereal- (100)

Milk (30)

LUNCH:

Peppered turkey (100)

Colby jack cheese (90)

2 slices wheat bread (73 + 73)

Baked chips (120)

3 oreos (160)

Dinner is up in the air. I have ceramics class tonight, so it'll probably be a wendy's healthy alternative.

I calculated up my calorie intake.

If I am active for 3 days a week: 2400 a day

If I am inactive during the week: 2150 a day

My stomach is growling furiously. I am so embarrassed!!! ;_________;

168 days

Another gray day, which wants to put me into a hibernation mode. I slept a good 9-10 hours last night, but I feel exhausted. Caffeine can't save me today.

It's official. I found a PT who will work with me, but unfortunately, it's at 8p.m. Yeah, that totally sucks, but everyday 5 p.m. is booked solid. So, I'm going to go home, cook dinner, crash for a few minutes, then head off to the gym.

Last night I burned 200 calories on the elliptical. I was tired, but I pushed myself, and I partially feel great for doing so.

I made these pita pizzas for dinner, which they were... ok. They're no great substitute for a Hound Dog's pizza, but they were edible. I sliced up a fresh banana pepper from the freebies at work, and threw a couple baked chips on the side. I took pictures of my process, so maybe I'll post a nice tutorial on here at a later time.

Tonight I am making Mexican Sloppy Joes and I was going to link the recipe, but it seems to have disappeared, but I have the physical copy at home printed out. It's such an easy recipe, and is great for people who enjoy substituting, or swapping out ingredients. Plus, it's one of those, under 30 minute type of meals, which is always an A+ in my book.

BREAKFAST:

Golden Grahams (3)

Milk (1)

LUNCH:

Wendy's grilled chicken sandwich plain (6)

Small fries (6)

DINNER:

Mexican Sloppy Joes (14)

I'm sure some oreos will magically sneak their way in there somewhere.

169 days

Here we go! Another week, and another shoe in at some effort. I'm constantly, starting, and stopping over and over.

You know your weekend eating is bad when you have to break out the Tums for indigestion.

Anyways, as bad as Jennifer Hudson sings it, "It's a new dawn, it's a new day.."

I've bought some groceries this week in an attempt to cook for once. I have nothing to hold me back seeing that my kiln is once again out of commission, so there goes my pottery time for a month, or so, which leaves me to devote my time to visual arts, and house cleaning, and cooking.

I've found some interesting recipes I'll be trying out this week. If I actually take this blog thing seriously, then maybe I'll post some pictures.

BREAKFAST:

Golden grahams (3)

Milk (1)

LUNCH:

Peppered turkey sandwich (8)

baked chips (3)

3 oreos (3)

DINNER:

2 Chicken and pita pizzas (7)

I'm seriously salivating over here.

I've decided to work on the elliptical for at least 30 minutes tonight, so I can burn about 200 calories. I imagine that will make a dent on any awful things I've done to myself today, and this weekend. Maybe I'll make it up to an hour someday.

Wow... actually, I just got an e-mail as I was writing this from one of the trainers, who said they couldn't really accommodate me for 5:30 due to someone leaving the company, but I think I'm going to come to my senses, and if they can do it, then I may workout at 8, so it gives me time for my food to digest, and 8p.m. seems to be around the time that I totally veg out at home, bored, and whine about being bored, so perhaps this will work.

It's better than nothing, or it's better than just sitting around and getting fat.

Wanna know how cool my work is?

They had this giant cart of veggies from the community gardens, and a big sign that said, "FREE!" So, there's like an abundance of peppers!!

Yum! You bet I grabbed some of those! Especially some jalepenos after hearing P.Allen Smith's recipe for fresh poppers!

Jalapeno Poppers

by P.Allen Smith Staff Garden on Friday, October 7, 2011 at 9:49am

Ingredients:

Turkey Bacon

Cream Cheese

Jalapeno Peppers

Directions:

Wash, cut in half, and de-seed Jalapenos.

Fill pepper halves with cream cheese.

Wrap a small piece of uncooked turkey bacon around the pepper half. Secure with a toothpick.

Place in a baking dish and bake in a pre-heated 350 degree F oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Yum!

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• • 

    Rebecca Smith Benson These are great. I made some this weekend and mixed sriracha sauce and some grated cheddar cheese in with the cream cheese and used real bacon. They were even better! I have to bake mine longer than 25-30 minutes though. These work great on the grill too.

Rebecca's suggestion sounds AMAZING, but I'm still going to keep the turkey bacon. The hubby would probably like the Sriracha kick to it, though.

Btw, they had ghost peppers for free, but I totally stayed clear of that. I'm not up for a challenge just yet.

173 days

God, I have been in major bitch mode this week. I think it's a mixture of PMS and missing my husband.

**EDIT: Verdict is in, and it IS PMS.

This is a good LJ entry, but for now, it's going in my weight loss blog, so people know how badly my hormones are wreaking havoc on my emotions.

I've been taking this pottery class, and last night some retard girl who's in need of attention clearly.... takes one of my bisque pots and glazes it for her own.

We'll back this up to the previous week. I had just finished some short stock bottles, and I was prepping them to go into bisque. Then, the teacher noted that I should sign my work, and I HATE signing my work, because it's not my signature. I usually use Abby's (my dog's) silhouette in underglaze on the bottom of my pieces, which is what I WOULD have done provided some fuck-tard did not take my piece to glaze for her own.

Anyways, I sent an e-mail out to the owner to let her know, and she told me that she disagreed with me thinking the girl did it on purpose, and then posted a comment on Facebook along the lines of "Make sure to sign your work, or chaos will ensue!" Clearly, ME, being the "chaos".

I've seriously been fuming about this all morning. I need to chill out. I need a fucking beach vacation... god damn. Fuck that, I need a smoke, and a good mixed drink.

So... yeah, that's my last class with them. It would have been anyways, because they're moving to Grandview, which is more of a shit fuck for traffic to deal with.

I didn't want to post this on my pottery blog, because I don't believe in bashing shit, because I do like my teacher, but I fucking hate this situation that occurred. It was the other student, not my teacher, and yes, it's partially my fault for not signing my goddamned pot.

____________________________________

Breakfast:

Egg Mcmuffin (6)

Diet coke (0)

Lunch:

Pizza bagel things (6)

Baked chips (3) <--- I'm guessing, because food facts.com is acting up.

Fiber bar (4)

I plan on cooking dinner tonight, but I haven't decided what. I think I may skip the gym tonight and work on stuff at the Houston House to help calm my nerves a bit.

I need more clay. I'm almost out. :\

174 days

No leaves! Come back to the trees!!! I don't like bare trees!! I want the color!

It's past official, but Fall has struck, and before I know it, Christmas will be here. Thank-God, no Christmas commercials yet.

The past two days I have went to the gym and worked on the elliptical for a little bit to help me get back into working out, and not feeling totally tired and out of breath.

My personal trainer, though has abandoned me from the looks of it, and has taken on many more clients, which means, no more help for me. I watched her juggle 5+ people working out at the same time, and I need someone to help me out, because I'm needy like that.

Well, I actually just called over there, and apparently, they don't have much of anything open for my schedule unless I come in earlier, which isn't going to happen, because I'm not giving up my lunch hour, and I'm not going to come in later, which would involve driving home, then coming back in AFTER eating dinner.

Le-sigh-fuck-my-effort-in-improving-my-life. The fucking skinny yuppies and muscle builders win again! The people who DON'T need to have training.. yet people like me who should be high priority are offered shitty time slots. /pms/rant/

Anyways, I'm not going to the gym tonight, because I have ceramics class, which I'm really excited about, because I've asked about some glazing techniques. I'll be building up some more inventory on the wheel as well, since I think I've sort of gotten the hang of throwing.

The whole "focus on me" thing is going well since I quit the play. I feel free, and I'm not stressed out about finding time to do shit.

I decided to eat all of my bad points for lunch today. Usually I save my biggest group of points for dinner, but my body was screaming for a cheeseburger on this gloomy, rainy day. I don't blame it. In fact, I noticed the drive-thru line had a few extra cars in it today, so I imagine everyone else must have been feeling crappy as well.

I have a packed lunch in the fridge, which will equal dinner tonight.

Breakfast:

Golden Grahams (3)

Milk (1)

Lunch:

Bacon Deluxe cheeseburger (16) <---- AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Small fries (7)

Diet Coke (0)

Dinner:

Turkey sammich w/ colby jack cheese and baked chips (11)

2 oreos (2)

;___; I'm over my points. Thankfully, I have my bonus points.

Dammit, Cheeseburger.

___________________________________________

Oh.my.GOD-- I just found out that a caramel apple is only 1 point. HOLY HELL! Yes, please!!

176 days

My-oh-my, the days are starting to fly by.

My weekend was good. I had an art sale in Clintonville, and sold some pieces, so all is well in the world.

I quit the play this weekend. I told them I needed to focus on my health, and my home, which is true. I was so frustrated at the fact that I couldn't go to the gym, or I couldn't even cook a decent meal for my husband, who would come home and eat cereal for dinner.

I am relieved, and I feel like a great weight has been lifted off of my shoulder.

This weekend I saw pictures of myself at the art crawl, and I pretty much said, "These will never be seen, or spoken of again."

I messaged my personal trainer this morning in hopes that she'll e-mail me back a schedule of open time. Either way, I AM going to the gym tonight to at least work on the elliptical to build up some endurance.

I'm excited to be getting back on track. I've fallen off, or it's been quite wobbly these past couple weeks with my schedule. I'm thrilled I am able to fully focus on my health and my home responsibilities once more, which will make me and my husband happier. I am NEVER being that neglectful ever again.

I found out some amazing news from my art crawl, which also made my day. Besides a lot of people picking up my business cards, and me selling a couple things, I was offered a consignment deal by the owner of the store we sat up in front of... AND he wants me to come back and paint a design on his shop!! YAY!

Anyways, here's the goods for the day....

BREAKFAST:

Golden grahams (3)

Milk (1)

LUNCH:

Black pepper turkey sammich w/ provolone cheese and baked chips (11)

3 Oreos (3)

SNACK:

Chocolate Chip granola bar (4)

180 days

The news of today is that my back went out. I've been having trouble with it for the past few weeks on a piece of shit cheap bed we just bought from Ashley's. I'm pretty sure that one will be headed for the garbage soon.

My husband put in a transfer for first shift, and I hope he gets is soon, so I can cook for him more. I think we would both benefit from it, instead of him having to pick up fast food, and I having to find smaller portion recipes for myself.

I really don't have much to report other than, my back needs a good meat tenderizer taken to it....

182 days

Yikes! Where is my time going!???

Last week will be referred to as "Cheeseburger week"and we'll not discuss the weekend of Pizza, Italian food, and other monstrosities of eating out. ;___;

Anyways, it's a new week, and while yesterday was rocky, I was given a reminder of reality as I was sitting at a mini meeting for scheduling a banquet at a local restaurant, and I could see my reflection in the window, and I looked horrible. I decided once more that I needed to do something about this.

I've had to face that I will not be able to make it to the gym until after mid November, and you better believe I will be hitting it hard in hopes of losing something. I've realized that just calorie counting doesn't cut it. I haven't noticed a difference, but then again, I just had a week of eating Wendy's cheeseburgers, and fries for lunch.

It's National walk your dog week, and I have a dog at home who wishes I would walk her.

This weekend my work will be in an art show in Clintonville, which has me nervous and stressed, as I am trying to get some more pieces accomplished, because at this moment some of the pieces already made have been called for.

Breakfast:

Golden Grahams (4)

Milk (1)

Lunch:

Crispy Chicken sandwich plain (8)

Small Chili (4.5)

Another busy week, but at least I will be working on things that I enjoy.

What happens at Oktoberfest... Stays at Oktoberfest

This weekend was interesting as far as food.

In no ways did I attempt to eat healthy. It consisted of McDonalds, pizza, brats, pepsi, and Schmidt's cream puffs.

I just blatantly give up on the weekend. In fact, my hubby said something about his shirt starting to get snug after Oktoberfest. We are both guilty schwines... Paul more than me, but I've never seen the boy happier than with a big stein of beer, and two brats and cream puffs in his belly. It was a good time indeed.

Today it's back on track, and I kept to my word about fruits and veggies this week.

I packed some apples for a snack today.

BREAKFAST:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch (3)

Milk (1)

LUNCH:

Healthy Choice Rice and Chicken soup (2)

Saltine Crackers (2)

2 Oreos (2)

DINNER:

Lean Pocket (7)

And... whatever else I find. Probably 20 oreos..... I'm kidding.

Dinner is an evil word this week. My poor husband won't have much of my cooking this week, because of my schedule, which is why I myself have resorted to Lean Pockets to full fill my hunger.

I suppose it will be another week of cereal, and sandwiches for him.

193 days

The days keep ticking down. It makes me nervous.

DINNER (last night)

Crispy Chicken nuggets (4)

2 in piece of braided mozzarella (4)

Whole grain spaghetti (1)

Pasta sauce (0)

SNACK (later last night)

2 chocolate covered biscuits (4)

Healthy Choice Chicken and Rice soup (2)

20 oyster crackers (1)

That brings my total right on track for weight watchers! Boo-ya!

I think I'm digging the soup thing for late night cravings.

Next week's grocery list will include more fruits, soups, and healthier snacks.

BREAKFAST:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch (3)

Milk (1)

LUNCH:

6" Subway club (6)

Sun Chips (2)

Diet Coke (0)

Heading out tonight with my older brother to a cabaret/theater thing. It should be good from all of the other reviews from friends.

It should prove to be an interesting weekend as well. It's Columbus' Oktoberfest this weekend, and my Mum and Dad are paying me a visit on Sunday to take a look at some art pieces at an art exhibit I'm in.

194 days

Well, I am pooped today. I had to go into work early to get out earlier to make a doctor's appointment, so I'm not functioning on all cylinders, and I have been yawning all morning.

Last night I made these awesome and healthy take on crispy chicken nuggets using corn flakes, and seasonings. I thought they turned out pretty good. I also made up some instant mashed potatoes due to time crunch, but I found out that the points aren't as devastating as I was thinking.

http://www.eatbetteramerica.com/recipes/under-300-calorie-dinner/healthified-crispy-baked-chicken-nuggets.aspx

There's the recipe. It was extremely easy to make.

DINNER:

Crispy Chicken nuggets (4)--160

Instant Mashed potatoes (2)--80

Dessert-- 3 Chocolate covered biscuit crackers (6)

________________________________________________

BREAKFAST:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal bar (5)--140

LUNCH:

Crispy Chicken Sandwich plain (8)-- 350

Small fry (7)-- 330

Small diet coke (0)

And for dinner we're looking at leftovers. I might hit up IGA, or somewhere for a packet of country gravy, since it's only 1 point per serving.

This is the plan, provided my husband doesn't eat it for lunch. :\

195 days

The world of food is a tricky thing in such, I've been buying up these lunchable pizza snacks for when I have to grab and go, and I thought in my head that if these were meant for children's lunches that surely the calories, and everything would be in balance, but OMFG I was wrong!!! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!

One of those little suckers is like (9) WW points, and THEN it's nearly 310 each, which isn't cutting it as a quick, healthy snack for me... I'm going to have to rethink my plan, because I eat one of those to get me through the night till I come home and cook dinner, but if I'm eating like two dinners in one night, because of the calories, then I'm not really benefiting, am I?

I'm feeling kind of weak, and sickly today. It's not overwhelming, but I'd rather be at home today. I've had bad heartburn this morning, and the milk in my stomach from breakfast isn't helping alleviate my situation.

Hummus and pita chips are going to become my new friends.

Something new I learned is that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is more of a wholesome cereal than Golden Grahams according to Food Facts. However, it's a single point difference in WW land.

My goal for next week grocery shopping is to eat fresher, and healthier, and pack good and nutricious snacks for during, and after work obligations.

I really wish I could make it to the gym. I really think it would benefit me. I'm trying to think of a way I could go to the gym, but still have time to cook dinner, take a shower, and bounce play practice, and clay classes all at the same time. I almost feel like a soccer Mom with four kids, in her mini van rushing around to get shit done... only minus the minivan and the obnoxious kids.

BTW, Someone's been uploading cast pics, and rehearsal pics on the IAWL FB page, and I noticed a picture of my ginormous fat roll back.

I could seriously make the pillsbury doughboy proud.

"Baby's got Back" by Sir Mix a Lot can be used in more of a definition to the morbidly obese population today, than it did for a woman's junk in the trunk.

Maybe Sir Mix a Lot's song will find a new life on The Biggest Loser as they shows obese contestants running on the beach, out of breath, Back fat flapping in the costal breeze.

Unfortunately, I don't think the Thong Song can be saved.

196 days

DINNER (LAST NIGHT)

Parmigiana crusted pork chops (6)

Whole grain spaghetti (1)

Pasta sauce (0)

Wonderbread 80 calorie bun (1)

Mozzarella Cheese (2)

BREAKFAST:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch (3)

Milk (didn't drink) (1)

LUNCH:

Buffalo Crispy Chicken Sandwich (plain) (8.5)

Apple wedges (0)

Diet coke (0)

So... The graph to the right of this post is my weight watchers points and how they would vary during my weight loss goals per week. I'm extremely happy for the fact it also is falling in the time frame I have counting down to for the big event in Vegas. I have never officially joined WW, but my sister in law did, so I took all the knowledge I could from her to figure out how I could benefit without having to pay $20 a month. Thank GOD for the internet, and people who like free things, and enjoying sharing.

Dinner tonight is going to be leftovers.... *sigh* I wish my leftovers were actually tasty.

My work has changed my lunch schedule around, which is proving to be a pain in my you know what... I'm going to lunch earlier now, which will leave me hungry come time to leave, and in the end means, my kitchen will be raided not by Spanish conquistadors, but merely by my own raging stomach. I suppose I'm going to have to start taking snacks to work with me to tide me over.

2 Oreos in my desk from last week... (2)

197 days

Gah!! Are we already down to under 200 days!! Insanity!

Okay, so we're going to call this "crunch time".

I came out to my husband this weekend and told him that I was doing this "diet blog" thing to help me out along the way, and when I told him the whopping 70lbs I wanted to lose in 7 months... he kind of made a face, and suggested I gear more towards 30lbs, but honestly... I'll take what I get. I'm not going to be picky, just as long as numbers head south, and not northward.

Again, my hubby has unintentionally been losing weight without any diet other than having to shovel cereal down his throat for dinner. He's been able to fit into some old shirts that have been tight on him since I started dating him. It's crazy! I don't mean to be mean either, but I don't hardly notice a physical difference yet, but I'm glad it makes him happy, and I'm glad he can wear his shirts that have been neglected in the back part of the closet. I am proud of him.

I really should start weighing myself... I've been neglecting that.

BREAKFAST:

Cinnamon toast crunch (8)

LUNCH:

Wendy's crispy chicken sandwich plain (8) 350

Small Chili (4.5) 220

Tonight for dinner.... I have no idea. I thought I had the evening off, but FML, I totally don't now, because of a forgotten engagement. So... screw ever having a life until after November.

I'm probably going to be doing my Parmesan crusted pork chops tonight w/ whole grain spaghetti, and pasta sauce. I still have some left over 80 calorie buns, which might benefit as a nifty sandwich..... just sayin.

200 day--- part two

My initial entry was made to describe why I started all of this, so this is the daily, gritty entries I'm growing so used to.

Dinner went well, then... later went... not so well.

DINNER: (Previous night)

1/2 chopped Italian Chicken breast (2.5)

2 cups of cooked pasta (5)

Pasta sauce (0)

Flavored water (0)

THEN, damn my stomach, I went to White Castle after practice, because I was craving chocolate chip cookies. Mind you, I am also suffering the Pee Ehmmm Ehsss.

So, I ordered...

2 Chicken ring sandwiches w/ cheese (20)

Small fries (3)

2 Chocolate Chunk cookies (10)

Breakfast:

BK bacon egg & cheese croissantwich (didn't finish) (6)

Small hashbrown (didn't finish) (3)

Snack:

3 Oreos (3) <--- that surprised me.

Then for lunch today:

wendy's Classic single (9)

small fries (7)

Coke (dumb girl gave me the wrong thing.. I ordered diet :-(( (2)

Le-sigh... Why must I be an epic failure?

Writing about my goal has got me back in the mood to put everything behind me, and move forward.

I still have some wiggle room for dinner... provided that I don't fuck it up.

Well, I'm off to the internet land of weight watcher recipes!

200 Days ---Why did I start this?

As I fight temptations and often lose most of the time, I've learned from other people's diet blogs that... it's okay, but don't give up. This is something I would hear from my personal trainer. Anything helps. You may not meet your goal as quick, but you'll get there.

Okay, so I have a ticker/countdown on one of my previous entries for and event that my husband and I are going to go to for our three year wedding anniversary.

For the years my hubby and I have been together we have often tried to find a niche of people to fit in with. We tried the Yuppie crowd, which were too stuck up and shallow, then we tried the Goth Industrial crowd, but they turned a bit too creepy, tried the punk scene, but they were too fake, and often... boring, so finally we tried the Rockabilly crowd, and we fit in... just right. I go to Rockabilly concerts and everyone is always nice and cordial, and everyone gets a long. No drama, no bar fights, no retard nonsense. People are there to enjoy music, dance, and dress up fancy for a nice night out.

My husband and I are no strangers to history, and we both have a soft spot for it. Paul likes military history, and I like fashion history, so we work well together, which is what the Rockabilly scene also incorporates.

A fact many people may not know about me is that I developed a MAJOR crush on my hubby after he acted like a gentleman on his birthday, dressed nice, had good manners, and for the fact I saw he had a Betty Page calendar hanging on his bedroom wall instead of a Playboy Bunny girl. We both had crushes on pinup girls.

Sometimes at concerts we'll see kids dancing like how your Grandma, and Grandpa used to dress, and you'll also see their classic cars parked out front, freshly restored with a lot of time, elbow grease, and passed down knowledge.

One thing that gets me down is the fact that I can't dress up all the time like a rockabilly girl in their circle skirts, swing dresses, and halter tops, because I'm fat, and I don't want to be the stick out in the room... for a bad reason.

Anyways, we're going to Viva Las Vegas , the biggest Rockabilly convention in... well the world. We'll be meeting up with some friends who recently moved out west to hang out, and just have an awesome time conversing with people who appreciate the same things we do.

My goal is to lose weight, so I can wear some of these pretty dresses these gals squeeze into, and not feel completely uncomfortable.

My goal is to get down to the size I was when I started dating Paul, which is around 230 pounds. I am currently tipping the scale at 300.

So, I have around 7 months to lose 70 pounds, and I wonder if I can accomplish it.

I need to be more determined, because it's something I lack besides a lot of will power. I didn't start this blog for no reason, though.

This is my attempt to better myself for my husband, my family, and me.

201 days

Okay, so the event went good... well... sorta. All the finger foods we were served were God awful, which benefits me greatly for the fact there wasn't much to eat. However, I did have probably a full wine glass of mead, and then some small shot of this amazing lemon cream like alcohol, which I imagine would probably make you scream when you saw the calories and sugar in it. The drinks stole the show last night.

My masquerade mask totally.... didn't. There were some amazing masks there! Mine was... sad, and made from leftover sewing trim, and some sequins, and some dollar tree flowers. Yes, go ahead and laugh. I was embarrassed, so I left my mask up most of the night.

So.... since the food at the event was disappointing, I took my friend up to Hound Dogs pizza (damn me) and we devoured a whole 12" (medium) pizza.

DINNER: (previous night)

HD pepperoni pizza (compared to a hand-tossed pizza hut 6" personal size, since we split the pizza in half) (14.5)

Pepsi (2.8)

BREAKFAST:

Golden Grahams (3)

Milk (1)

LUNCH:

2 left over piece of pizza from Paul's pizza (10.5)

Pear applesauce (2)

202 days

Unfortunately, I don't have anything fun, or witty to talk about today, BUT I am going to a masquerade party tonight, but it's for a food review site, so... it's like a double edge sword, and alcohol will be there, which for my sake = excess bad calories.

I'm going to go have a wonderful time. I'm incredibly excited.

I always feel awkward at these events, because they're filled with some pretty people, and I think they feel uncomfortable when I'm around.

I have only one friend who is bigger than me, and more social than me, and the other day I saw where she ended up getting her feelings extremely hurt by some punk-ass jocks at a bar that she frequented. While your friends are always there to pump you up, and make you feel better about yourself, it just doesn't work 100%. I feel her pain. I've been there.. a few times, and it makes you bitter.

No wonder a lot of these obese people turn into recluses. They're treated horribly in public, so they don't WANT to get out of the house and walk, or go to the gym for fear of being made fun of. Dr. Phil has some stupid saying like, "It takes a 100 ata boys to erase the you're worthless comments..." or something along the lines of that.

I'm terribly happy to have an amazing friend going with me to the event tonight, and she knows how to talk to people without feeling uncomfortable, because I think she's oblivious to people's disgust. She's an amazing girl, because she is just so nice.

I'll have to have her take a picture of me, so I can have a before/after comparison on here.

Wish me luck.

BREAKFAST:

BK bacon egg and cheese croissantwich (8.5) 340

Hashbrowns 1/2 a small(3) 125

LUNCH:

Wendy's crispy chicken sandwich plain (8) 350

Small Chili (4.5) 220

204 days part II

Okay, so I have decided on dinner, which will be quick, and on the run.

Creamed Chicken over rice

1 serving of Minute whole grain brown rice (4) 150

1 Can of Aldi's Fit & Active Cream of Chicken soup (2) 60

1 Can of Canned Chicken (1) 50

I cook up the brown rice seperately, and when it comes time for the rice to simmer, I heat up a small pot of Cream of Chicken soup ( no water added) on the stove top, then add the canned chicken (drained) after words until it's nice and hot. Salt or Pepper to your likings, and serve the soup over the rice.

Easy-Peasy.

Sometimes if I'm not in a huge hurry, I'll cook up some biscuits with this quick fix of a dinner, but tonight I just don't have the time.

Surprisingly, if you just tweak some smaller parts to the recipes, it can drastically change the calories to a meal. In my case on this recipe, I opted the Fit & Active soup instead of regular, and I'm consuming on 60 calories instead of 120. Yeah, that's nearly half.

Also, Opt for whole grain rice, which is lower on sugars, and starches that are added in White rice. Kraft's Minute whole grain rice keeps it easy and fast to make, but still tastes great, while providing a great nutritional alternative to regular rice.

http://www.foodfacts.com/ Is my new online bible for figuring out weight watcher points in recipes that don't include them.

http://www.wikiweightwatcher.com/ Is my new go to spot for figuring out what I'm going to have when I go out to eat. They have most places from fast food to regular sit down restaurant chains.

Happy counting.

204 days

Good Monday Morning.

I think I dread any week in which I have more than two activities planned. This week is going to be nothing short of Chaotic.

MONDAY (today) I start my pottery classes at Mayco, which start at 6:30, so I have to leave right after work to make it there, and then I'll be there until 9:30.

TUESDAY: Practice, which keeps me at theater until 9:30 since I'm the assistant director.

WEDNESDAY: I have a YELP! Elite event I'm going to, which sounds like a flippin' BLAST! Just imagine a masquerade party on the rooftop pool of the Renaissance hotel in downtown Columbus. Yes, I am totally excited.

THURSDAY: Practice, again. X_x

FRIDAY: Oh my God, an actual day where I have nothing planned. It's a miracle, but sadly, I believe it will be short lived.

On top of all of that, I work a 9-5 job. I'm starting to miss my "me" time. I was kind of nice at the start of this year to do what I wanted to do, and not be held to obligations. The gym is one of those obligations I wish I were more tied to instead.

_________________________________________

I've found that ordering a chili at Wendy's is a great appetite suppressor, and also, is cheaper on my pocket book, AND it's lower in calories, and essentially, better for you.

Wendy's nutritional menu is great, because I am totally not a side salad person at all, so the fact they offer lower calorie options EVEN with fries still as a side is awesome.

My goal this week is to survive, and not over snack during down time a midst the chaos.

BREAKFAST:

Golden Grahams (3)-120

Milk (1) Normally (3), but I didn't finish it. -50

LUNCH:

McDonalds

Cheeseburger (7)-300

Small fries (5)- 230

Diet Coke (0)

According to Mayo Clinic: I should be ingesting only 2150 calories a day. We'll see how that turns out.

207 Days

It's really sad when you have to take a half day from work just to be able to go home, and prepare a meal. It didn't kill me to take that half day, because I have vacation to burn before September 30th, so it was necessary, and it was dark and gloomy day, I had a headache, and was exhausted from lack of sleep.

Some how I pulled my back out this past weekend. *cough*bed*cough* Which has left me getting insufficient sleep, and feeling like crap in the morning.

Anyways, I made this delicious dinner on Thursday.

Parmesan baked pork chops, whole grain pasta, some Veggie Smart pasta sauce, and some baguette to complete the meal.

I think the husband jumped for joy when he saw me carrying in the baguette. It was sad, because he had to leave for work shortly after I got home. Part of me envisions him helping me cook, or prep, and us laughing while Sinatra is playing on our non-existent record player, and we're sipping some wine. It's that picturesque bull-crap that everyone envisions in their future husband.

I like my husband. I think he's cute. I remember coming home from work in North Carolina, and he'd be running about the kitchen baking with a towel slung over his shoulder like a working chef, or something.

The meal was ok... The Pork Chops were a bit tough, because of the cuts, but everything else was delish.

---------------------

Life's be disheartening to me this week. I've been on the scourge for a nice little cocktail dress for a masquerade event coming up, but all these dresses I've been trying on look HIDEOUS on me. I look like I'm a round pregnant tube in these high waisted tragic dresses.

________________________

I should be kicking myself in the ass for neglecting the gym, but the fact is, I'm busy. I have been hoping for just ONE single day this week where I could sit at home and relax, but it hasn't happened. I've been busy assistant directing a play, setting up an art exhibit at the Houston House, and just a million other things. Paul gets agitated, because the house is a war zone, but I seriously do not get home until 9:30 in which I have to take a shower, and head to bed for the next day.

I'll be thankful when this play is over, so I can focus everything on me, and how I can make myself feel better. I am happy now, but I would be happier if I didn't have to shove junk down my throat to keep my stomach happy throughout the week. I have been missing this whole "cooking" thing.

TODAY 9/9

BREAKFAST:

BK Bacon egg and cheese croissantwich (8.5)

Hashbrowns Small (6)

LUNCH:

Undecided... I've been scanning over a bunch of different fast food nutritional options, and my stomach still hasn't decided. I should make a blog post on my findings. Some were surprising even for me.

209 days

Aw, I was being so good yesterday, and only had a lunchable before I went to practice, which would have equaled a whopping ten points in WW land, but unfortunately, I had to go out later and savagely wreck that shit with a 40 point meal. OMG! Buffalo Wild wings, you are the devil.

Stupid-stupid me. I should have just opted for a flatbread pizza, or something grilled, but I went all out, and now my conscience is paying for it dearly.

I have a cobb salad in the fridge at work calling my name for lunch today, which sounds so unappetizing. I must be brainwashed by eating out, because ANYTHING but store bought food sounds amazing.

You know, my stomach and brain are just communicating together like a bunch of spoiled toddlers in which all they can say are, "NO!" I think they both need a good spanking and a time out.

My goal today is to drink lots of water, because I've been feeling like crap, and my kidneys have been taking a beating from all of the sugar, and sodas I've ingested this weekend. When I get in the habit of eating out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then I tend to drink nothing, but diet soda, which is starting to reek havoc on me physically, so WATER IT IS!

DINNER (last night)

8 Boneless wings (20)

Bleu Cheese dressing (8.5)

Buffalo Chips plain (5)

Mango Lemonade (?)

______________________________

Breakfast (TODAY)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch (8)

**EDIT: Thanks to a co-worker's birthday, I was just forced a piece of chocolate raspberry, with buttercream frosting from my absolute favorite bakery in the ENTIRE world. (10)

LUNCH

Cobb salad (12)

Pear Applesauce (2)

For dinner, I'm thinking of doing something with those pork chops, which have been mocking me in the freezer.

The countdown will be explained in another post.

And another one for the road.

Okay, so this makes blog # 589,343,063 for me, since I have one for every aspect and interest in my life, but to be honest, I tried thinking of a way I could combine blogs, but the point is that nobody wants to read a blog about pottery mixed in with the dilemmas of a fat girl, and what she ate for breakfast.

I’ve never done a weight loss blog. I thought blogs, and calorie counting blogs were stupid, and unbeneficial until I saw, http://downhomedieting.wordpress.com/ and instantly felt connected with Amanda, and how she handled cooking weekly, making menus, and using leftovers, which is a mad skill that I just don’t possess. I also liked her blog for the fact that she doesn’t make exercise the main priority of it all. I hate going to these weight loss blogs, and the people are like, “Yeah, I ran ten miles this morning, now I’m going to do an hour of cardio, then follow it up with 30 minutes of yoga.” WHAT!? No, that’s totally not me, and probably will NEVER be me even if the weight is gone.

I’m balancing a lot on my workload. I work a 9-5 desk job, then at the moment I’m assistant directing the seasonal production for the Marysville Art League, which I’m highly involved in. My husband works a 2^nd shift job, so I practically get to see him only on the weekends, which also makes cooking for me a struggle, because I’m initially cooking for one, and sometimes two, if the food doesn’t have to be ingested fresh off the skillet.

Have I had a rock bottom? I’m sure everyone has whether it be at a dressing room mirrior, a spouses comment, while eating your third serving of lasagna, or possibly it could be more serious like a medical condition.

I’ve probably had a ton of rock bottoms where I felt like crap mentally about not being able to wear a cool dress, or not being able to buy a shirt online, because they didn’t have my size, but now that my age is increasing, I’m starting to be plagued with side effects of medical conditions.

I’m pre diabetic, which runs in both sides of my family, and even my Mom was recently diagnosed. On both sides of my family has heart attack, and I’ve lost one Grandpa, and am currently losing one from a week respiratory system, and weak hearts.

I have a lot of reasons for wanting to lose weight, and growing older, I find it’s not just for vanity purposes.

I don’t enjoy vacations anymore, because it’s hard for me to walk around without getting fatigued and winded.

I don’t enjoy having to constantly tug my shirts down when they ride up, so I can hide my fat bulges.

I don’t enjoy not being able to shop, or if I do shop, I can’t wear what I want to wear, because it may not look flattering on me, and I’m might end up looking like a giant blue berry, or a giant panel of walking wallpaper.

I’ve been inspired today to go back, and while I’m not going to force myself to a schedule, or routine. I’m going to start eating better, and all I can do is at least try.

TODAY 9/6/2011

Breakfast:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch (6)

Milk

Lunch:

Wendy’s Homestyle Chicken sandwich (plain) (10.5)

Apple slices (1.5)